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Infertility caused by Miralax. It's true. But now I am 34 weeks pregnant and I've only gained four pounds. Here's why, along with how I stay fit and how I'm dealing with...
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I am going to take this FORK I am holding (you can't see me so just pretend) and shove it up HALLOWEEN'S ASS. Obviously, I can't actually do that because HALLOWEEN...
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I steer clear of all BARS. PICK-UP LINE WIELDING, DOUCHEBAG MAGNET, BARS... Why do you think I turned to Tinder (before it turned into a Gindr for straight people) to...
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Horseradish and blue cheese ice cream studded with candied maple bacon and lobster topped with fois gras and drizzled with turkey gravy. Get the fuck out of my face...
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